Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
