You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize