It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
