I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
