I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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