AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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