I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize