I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
