Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
