I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
