i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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