You're so nebulous sometimes
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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