he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
