I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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