Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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