apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
