I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
