I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize