Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
