It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize