so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
