I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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