that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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