Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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