so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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