marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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