Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
