Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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