i may or may not be watching the land before time
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
