Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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