The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
