Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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