Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize