i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
