Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
