Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
