im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
