I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
