WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
