tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
