Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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