it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This is my gift to your gina
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
