Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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