It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
