she was so not down for the gang bang
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
