Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
