oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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