haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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