my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize