She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
