hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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