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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
