I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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