He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
