I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
