Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
