Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
