i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
