They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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